I mentioned in my last post that we are going to get to the inside of you, to that little seed in there that is really you (not all the stuff that has happened to you, or things you became because you had to please others, or stuff you did out of reaction to others). We're getting to your core. Now a lot of people say, oh I don't want to go that deep, I've got all these issues I have to deal with and they're too painful. I'm here to say "no you don't." You don't have to deal with your issues. You can. And maybe you will. And you will want to most likely... eventually. But for this, you don't. We are going to skip over your issues completely for now. Why? Because for this experience, they don't matter. And here's why.
I've spent the vast portion of my life coaching and training people to perform a micromovement sport...tennis. To hit a tennis ball a certain way, a lot of things need to align. Visually we can only see a ball coming at us at 40 miles per hour to within a space of about 3 feet. The arc of a swing is about 4 feet point to point. If you draw a 4 foot arc and a 3 foot line and say I want to hit a ball going 40 degrees to the left of center, do you think you can calculate that? I can't. And certainly not with one object moving 40 mph in one direction and my racket going 40 mph in the other direction. Where is that precise POINT where the two meet, ball and racket? If I had to explain it, I would never be able to get you to do it. And furthermore...what if the ball is coming at you 125 mph? Then what? This is what life often feels like. We're expected to approach everything rationally, and then read a thousand self-help books to figure out what is wrong with US, when things go wrong. So explaining won't get you far.
So how do you get someone to do this?
Lots of coaches toss balls at you, and each time you take a swing they correct you. They say, aim higher, or follow through more, or turn your body earlier, or sometimes just "watch the ball." (Kind of like saying "be aware.") All of things help for sure. But they don't get the best results. Why? Because the mind cannot process a negative. If I say "don't think about pink elephants..." well, there...you just visualized one didn't you? So we're not going to spend time figuring out what's wrong with you... we're going to focus on what's right with you. I promise you if you were taking a tennis lesson from me and I said, "you're moving your feet really well right now," -- even if you weren't moving your feet before, your footwork would immediately improve. Why? Because it is pointed out to you, and you notice. And when you notice something about yourself there is immediately a good feeling. EVEN when it is something that we don't like about ourselves. Think about it, when you confess something that you've held inside, whether it's a huge deal (like coming out of the closet or admitting you're an alcoholic) or a small one (I cheated on my diet and had a cookie yesterday) there is a good feeling that goes with it. It's empowering to know yourself. It's like knowing a secret and sharing it with someone you can trust.
So here is step 1 in the micrognosis process.
I want you to find a private place for this. You can write it in your day planner, put a note in your iphone, write it on the back page of a checkbook register in tiny print. I do NOT want you to put it on a post-it note and put it in the bathroom where some random dinner guest could discover that you're going to floss more and lose 30lbs! No I want this to be YOUR SECRET PLACE. A SAFE HIDDEN PLACE WHERE NO ONE WILL FIND IT, AND IF THEY DO IT IS SO OUT OF CONTEXT THAT THEY WON'T UNDERSTAND IT. If you're really nervous, put it in code. Create your own code, whatever it is. THIS IS ABOUT YOU. I do NOT want you to share it. This is NOT about sharing. Sharing is NOT something you do. It is a natural bi-product of being completely fulfilled. Do NOT make your kids share their toys until they have had a chance to take ownership of them, they will share naturally and when they are ready... all children are innately and appropriately generous. So right now I want you to be that child who is not ready to share...not yet.
I want you to write down one secret. I don't care what it is. It might be something as simple as saying I'm not trying to lose 30lbs for my health and fitness...I just want to look skinnier... it's not for some lofty goal, it's because I've got some vanity on the line here. Maybe you want to be an artist. You dream of quitting your boring job and you want to try being an artist. Maybe you've never had an art class. But you dream that an artists lifestyle is the way for you. Maybe you hate your home life. Maybe you think you're ugly. Maybe you are tired and you just want to be rich and taken care of. Whatever it is, it's ok. I don't know what it is for you, but I do know, you've got a secret. I want you to write the words "My secret is..." And I want you to put that secret into a private place. That's all. You might right "my secret is I'm scared." or "my secret is I'm tired and really do want to have a lot of money." or "my secret is I'm afraid I won't reach my potential and my life will feel like a waste." or "my secret is I've always wanted to be an actor." or "my secret is I want to eat whatever I want." That's the assignment. I want you to be alone with that. Just put it in that place. You don't have to look at, you don't need to review it. You know its there. Just pick one, and lock it up. We'll come back to it later. But for now, that's the assignment. Small Knowledge. Micrognosis. As soon as you do it...you've completed step one. In the next post, we'll move on to step 2. Small steps!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
What is Micrognosis
I want to offer up a brief explanation of what I am calling micrognosis, so that we are all on the same page here. If you have ever studied a foreign language you will come to a point where there is a word that you must learn that does not have a direct translation in English. This is an interesting experience the first time you have it. When you first encounter it, you do your best to try to grasp the meaning of the word. But because the translation requires multiple words, or even a sentence or two, you become aware that whatever word you are trying to translate is really a totally new concept to you. For example, the French word sportif has no real great English translation. A "sportif" is someone who plays a lot of sports, not just a jock or a sportsman or anyone who does a sports. You can say "do you do sports?" But it doesn't quite mean the same. To be sportif is to state that is something you ARE not something you DO. You just are...sportif. C'est une femme sportive. To get the gist of it, is to understand it intuitively and to share the same conceptual reality and line of thinking. This is the premise of micrognosis. Micro meaning small. Gnosis, in latin, is knowledge. Small knowledge. And by small, I don't mean that to be diminutive in size related to the knowledge or thought. I mean small in a contained way. I mean in a way where you are right on the point of understanding something big, and at that point you internalize it and become one with it. Oprah has called it the A Ha moment. Some people just say "I get it." What "it" is, is what is key. That "it" is that POINT of light, that firefly of a thought, THAT is what we are going to focus on. So small it almost goes unnoticed. Micrognosis.
As we progress, you will begin to understand micrognosis as a means whereby life can become a happy daily occurance. There are plenty of people out there who teach you life mastery skills. And all of these are valuable. But in order to apply those skills you need to have a level of awareness that allows you to connect YOUR point with all the other points out there. And if you don't know where you're coming from, it doesn't matter how much you read or work or study in attempt to understand how it all works.
The goal here, if you can call it a goal, is to collapse back onto yourself. To get to you. To get to way deep down inside you. To get to that center point. That place were the little seed is...the little seed of small knowledge, to give it some water, some fertile soil, some light and encouragement. The system of micrognosis is outlined in very simple steps, and I will share them with you as I have learned them. The reason I am doing all this is because I am really frustrated with all this new age stuff. I don't know about you, but I for one, CANNOT stay in the now. I try. I meditate. I yoga. I breathe. But now is so fleeting that I can't stay there. It's always now, no matter what I'm doing anyway, right? Can I have more consecutive nows? Can my next now be longer than my last now? Now is now. That's it. I don't really believe we are supposed to be in the now. Life is not really meant to be like driving along with the clutch pushed in trying to observe our engine. And meditating really doesn't raise my awareness. It's hard. I'm thinking about things. I just got a text message, I should check. I wonder if the phone bill came today, I should check. I'm focusing on my breathing. Am I breathing? I should check. It's too much.
So let's start with a little micrognosis here. This is not going to be a blog that says "just be aware and notice." If I could do that, I would have done it by now. This is HOW TO notice and WHEN TO notice and most importantly WHY TO notice. And once you practice those things, you won't need to meditate. You'll just get it. You'll understand intuitively and share the same conceptual reality. You will know what it means to be ... sportif.
As we progress, you will begin to understand micrognosis as a means whereby life can become a happy daily occurance. There are plenty of people out there who teach you life mastery skills. And all of these are valuable. But in order to apply those skills you need to have a level of awareness that allows you to connect YOUR point with all the other points out there. And if you don't know where you're coming from, it doesn't matter how much you read or work or study in attempt to understand how it all works.
The goal here, if you can call it a goal, is to collapse back onto yourself. To get to you. To get to way deep down inside you. To get to that center point. That place were the little seed is...the little seed of small knowledge, to give it some water, some fertile soil, some light and encouragement. The system of micrognosis is outlined in very simple steps, and I will share them with you as I have learned them. The reason I am doing all this is because I am really frustrated with all this new age stuff. I don't know about you, but I for one, CANNOT stay in the now. I try. I meditate. I yoga. I breathe. But now is so fleeting that I can't stay there. It's always now, no matter what I'm doing anyway, right? Can I have more consecutive nows? Can my next now be longer than my last now? Now is now. That's it. I don't really believe we are supposed to be in the now. Life is not really meant to be like driving along with the clutch pushed in trying to observe our engine. And meditating really doesn't raise my awareness. It's hard. I'm thinking about things. I just got a text message, I should check. I wonder if the phone bill came today, I should check. I'm focusing on my breathing. Am I breathing? I should check. It's too much.
So let's start with a little micrognosis here. This is not going to be a blog that says "just be aware and notice." If I could do that, I would have done it by now. This is HOW TO notice and WHEN TO notice and most importantly WHY TO notice. And once you practice those things, you won't need to meditate. You'll just get it. You'll understand intuitively and share the same conceptual reality. You will know what it means to be ... sportif.
Welcome to MicroMac Living
I want to tell you that this blog life has started as an experiment. A lot of things happened in between the years 2007 - 2009, not too many of them good. I will spare you the details, as most of you have experienced your own suffering in some form or another over the past year. Buddhists say that enlightenment is the "end of suffering." When I first heard this, I was a bit depressed. That's it? Nothing positive? Just the "end" of something? I wasn't real motivated to be enlightened, I guess. Somehow the absence of something didn't seem like much of a reward.
Clearly I wasn't enlightened. And I don't claim to be now. However, I am having some interesting insights lately, and I thought that perhaps, as an experiment, I would start noticing them, and even sharing them. So that is what this blog is dedicated to. I am learning some unique things about how to live a happy life in this very strange and chaotic world. This is not about losing weight, raising your self esteem, becoming a better you. This is something different. It is finding that tiny seed inside you and growing it.
Like many of you, I have not always lived to my potential, been productive, effective, or human. I've spent years trying to improve, work harder, get more done, be better, contribute, re-connect or network with the right people to build good relationships. But I'm not sure it got me anywhere. And often, when it did get me somewhere, I either didn't like the place, or was never certain I had arrived.
Some time in the middle of 2009 my energy was shot. I was empty. And I really believed that it was my true nature to sit on the couch and eat potato chips the rest of my life and watch the cartoon network. (I love cartoons). As 2010 approached, I was overwhelmed by another year of my life passing by feeling unfulfilled and thinking that I'd accomplished nothing meaningful. I kept recalling a phrase by Nelson Mandella "no one does the world any good by striving to be small." And I felt really small. Perhaps noticing this, and admitting that I was small was the starting point. The big bang started from a single point. A black hole collapses to a single point. Was this the point? The centerpoint of my Universe? Was feeling this small where I was supposed to start?
This "small" idea of Mandella's was a very important quote for me. In fact, it has been my personal philosophy of life based on a very profound experience I had when I was 23 years old (now half my life ago). I was a professional tennis player in the year 1987 when he uttered this quote. Nelson Mandella had elected to return to prison rather than be released under the same condition of apartheid as a means of protest. I happened to be in South Africa at that exact time. I was one of a handful of Americans allowed into the country during those difficult years, and I was playing a tennis tournament in Johannesburg and staying at the Johannesburg Sun, a five start hotel. I was a wealthy (by comparison) American and had the opportunity to stay in the country for well over a month. It was my first big trip abroad and my first experience with third world culture.
South Africa seemed to me an enormous dichotomy. On the one hand you had the deBeers diamond fortune, the most prestigious and precious element in the world. And on the other, you had total suppression of an entire population. A population that was in the majority. You had the Dutch, who were considered the rednecks. You had the British who were the aristocracy. And you had the Zulus and Tumbus and various tribal factions that had created an under-culture that couldn't agree long enough to disagree. Nelson Mandella's political organization the ANC was one of violence, although at the time most of the violence was black on black. Families that were not supporters of the ANC were told to get on board or find their head of household with a tire filled with gasoline on fire around their body, burned to death. And this was liberal Johannesburg, Pretoria boycotted candy bars that had a black person on the wrapper. To me, South Africa seemed like a big mess. The Dutch hated the British for having to save them in the Boer war to get the Zulus divided over the river. The British didn't care for anybody, but themselves. And all the blacks were fighting with each other. But then I took a ride.
I had wanted to go to a game park, Kruger National Park, which I did. But along the way I stopped in Soweto, Bahputswana and a few other of what were called "Independent Nations." Independent Nations were basically small plots of land in the surrounding areas of South Africa. They were made up of small groups of shanty towns, which were basically corrugated tin. The first "nation" I came to consisted of four sticks propping up a tin roof and a cow tied to one of the sticks. Certainly if the cow had moved in the slightest, the entire dilapidated structure would fall. The cow was obviously content to remain motionless in the hot sun, which was about 126 with heat index. This structure was the home of The Chief. He greeted me with an enormous smile, filled with white teeth, and a welcoming gesture that would have made an Italian mother at a dinner table proud. I asked him why he was here and he explained that he had left Johannesburg where he had been a medical doctor, to live here. They did not have potable water. But they had the right to vote. And he was happy.
Wow.
Okay, let me repeat that. He was a medical doctor who left his practice to live half clothed under a tin roof with a cow and no water so he could...vote. My voting record being somewhat pathetic I immediately felt guilty. And I felt guilty for drinking water earlier that day. I'm sure the look on my face was blank to hide my shame. I couldn't understand. I couldn't relate. And I was really concerned about startling the cow and destroying this man's entire world. And despite his obvious challenges, this man was so happy! I've never seen anyone with such a glow about him. There were 31 people in his "nation" so far, and he had been freely elected, and they were building their infrastructure and they were organizing a school. The way he talked about all this you would have thought he'd won the lottery. I had nothing to offer this man, but gave his son a tennis ball which immediately set off a chorus of cheers and excitement for the six children who earlier wanted to just touch me, to see if my skin felt the same, as they ran out into the hot sun and dust to begin a mini soccer game.
If no one does the world any good by striving to be small, why did this man leave so much to have so little? And why did Nelson Mandella elect to stay in prison where he had virtually nothing in terms of means and necessities? I was trying to become the top tennis player in the world, at the time I was ranked about 189. I realized I was in the top 1% of my field, even though I was nowhere near my goal. And yet, why was I so small? And why did these gentleman seem so much greater to me? Thus would begin THE GREAT IRONY of my life. The irony of happiness through letting go, the irony of freedom through restriction, the irony of mastery through specificity, the irony of greatness through minimalism. One that has taken half again a life to comprehend. This IRONY I have come to describe as micrognosis. It's a word I'm inventing. It's a word I will explain. And as a write, I learn, and as I share, I grow. So with that, I will tell you that the secrets that are about to unfold before you, are secrets that have been shared with me by great men and women of our time, but in intimacies and parcels that are incredibly small. These secrets will be yours and it is my hope that you will make them your own, by reflecting on your own life and those small moments of wonder, miracle moments, quantum packets of you that have infinite power and pure potential. Keep reading and we will grow together.
Clearly I wasn't enlightened. And I don't claim to be now. However, I am having some interesting insights lately, and I thought that perhaps, as an experiment, I would start noticing them, and even sharing them. So that is what this blog is dedicated to. I am learning some unique things about how to live a happy life in this very strange and chaotic world. This is not about losing weight, raising your self esteem, becoming a better you. This is something different. It is finding that tiny seed inside you and growing it.
Like many of you, I have not always lived to my potential, been productive, effective, or human. I've spent years trying to improve, work harder, get more done, be better, contribute, re-connect or network with the right people to build good relationships. But I'm not sure it got me anywhere. And often, when it did get me somewhere, I either didn't like the place, or was never certain I had arrived.
Some time in the middle of 2009 my energy was shot. I was empty. And I really believed that it was my true nature to sit on the couch and eat potato chips the rest of my life and watch the cartoon network. (I love cartoons). As 2010 approached, I was overwhelmed by another year of my life passing by feeling unfulfilled and thinking that I'd accomplished nothing meaningful. I kept recalling a phrase by Nelson Mandella "no one does the world any good by striving to be small." And I felt really small. Perhaps noticing this, and admitting that I was small was the starting point. The big bang started from a single point. A black hole collapses to a single point. Was this the point? The centerpoint of my Universe? Was feeling this small where I was supposed to start?
This "small" idea of Mandella's was a very important quote for me. In fact, it has been my personal philosophy of life based on a very profound experience I had when I was 23 years old (now half my life ago). I was a professional tennis player in the year 1987 when he uttered this quote. Nelson Mandella had elected to return to prison rather than be released under the same condition of apartheid as a means of protest. I happened to be in South Africa at that exact time. I was one of a handful of Americans allowed into the country during those difficult years, and I was playing a tennis tournament in Johannesburg and staying at the Johannesburg Sun, a five start hotel. I was a wealthy (by comparison) American and had the opportunity to stay in the country for well over a month. It was my first big trip abroad and my first experience with third world culture.
South Africa seemed to me an enormous dichotomy. On the one hand you had the deBeers diamond fortune, the most prestigious and precious element in the world. And on the other, you had total suppression of an entire population. A population that was in the majority. You had the Dutch, who were considered the rednecks. You had the British who were the aristocracy. And you had the Zulus and Tumbus and various tribal factions that had created an under-culture that couldn't agree long enough to disagree. Nelson Mandella's political organization the ANC was one of violence, although at the time most of the violence was black on black. Families that were not supporters of the ANC were told to get on board or find their head of household with a tire filled with gasoline on fire around their body, burned to death. And this was liberal Johannesburg, Pretoria boycotted candy bars that had a black person on the wrapper. To me, South Africa seemed like a big mess. The Dutch hated the British for having to save them in the Boer war to get the Zulus divided over the river. The British didn't care for anybody, but themselves. And all the blacks were fighting with each other. But then I took a ride.
I had wanted to go to a game park, Kruger National Park, which I did. But along the way I stopped in Soweto, Bahputswana and a few other of what were called "Independent Nations." Independent Nations were basically small plots of land in the surrounding areas of South Africa. They were made up of small groups of shanty towns, which were basically corrugated tin. The first "nation" I came to consisted of four sticks propping up a tin roof and a cow tied to one of the sticks. Certainly if the cow had moved in the slightest, the entire dilapidated structure would fall. The cow was obviously content to remain motionless in the hot sun, which was about 126 with heat index. This structure was the home of The Chief. He greeted me with an enormous smile, filled with white teeth, and a welcoming gesture that would have made an Italian mother at a dinner table proud. I asked him why he was here and he explained that he had left Johannesburg where he had been a medical doctor, to live here. They did not have potable water. But they had the right to vote. And he was happy.
Wow.
Okay, let me repeat that. He was a medical doctor who left his practice to live half clothed under a tin roof with a cow and no water so he could...vote. My voting record being somewhat pathetic I immediately felt guilty. And I felt guilty for drinking water earlier that day. I'm sure the look on my face was blank to hide my shame. I couldn't understand. I couldn't relate. And I was really concerned about startling the cow and destroying this man's entire world. And despite his obvious challenges, this man was so happy! I've never seen anyone with such a glow about him. There were 31 people in his "nation" so far, and he had been freely elected, and they were building their infrastructure and they were organizing a school. The way he talked about all this you would have thought he'd won the lottery. I had nothing to offer this man, but gave his son a tennis ball which immediately set off a chorus of cheers and excitement for the six children who earlier wanted to just touch me, to see if my skin felt the same, as they ran out into the hot sun and dust to begin a mini soccer game.
If no one does the world any good by striving to be small, why did this man leave so much to have so little? And why did Nelson Mandella elect to stay in prison where he had virtually nothing in terms of means and necessities? I was trying to become the top tennis player in the world, at the time I was ranked about 189. I realized I was in the top 1% of my field, even though I was nowhere near my goal. And yet, why was I so small? And why did these gentleman seem so much greater to me? Thus would begin THE GREAT IRONY of my life. The irony of happiness through letting go, the irony of freedom through restriction, the irony of mastery through specificity, the irony of greatness through minimalism. One that has taken half again a life to comprehend. This IRONY I have come to describe as micrognosis. It's a word I'm inventing. It's a word I will explain. And as a write, I learn, and as I share, I grow. So with that, I will tell you that the secrets that are about to unfold before you, are secrets that have been shared with me by great men and women of our time, but in intimacies and parcels that are incredibly small. These secrets will be yours and it is my hope that you will make them your own, by reflecting on your own life and those small moments of wonder, miracle moments, quantum packets of you that have infinite power and pure potential. Keep reading and we will grow together.
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