I mentioned in my last post that we are going to get to the inside of you, to that little seed in there that is really you (not all the stuff that has happened to you, or things you became because you had to please others, or stuff you did out of reaction to others). We're getting to your core. Now a lot of people say, oh I don't want to go that deep, I've got all these issues I have to deal with and they're too painful. I'm here to say "no you don't." You don't have to deal with your issues. You can. And maybe you will. And you will want to most likely... eventually. But for this, you don't. We are going to skip over your issues completely for now. Why? Because for this experience, they don't matter. And here's why.
I've spent the vast portion of my life coaching and training people to perform a micromovement sport...tennis. To hit a tennis ball a certain way, a lot of things need to align. Visually we can only see a ball coming at us at 40 miles per hour to within a space of about 3 feet. The arc of a swing is about 4 feet point to point. If you draw a 4 foot arc and a 3 foot line and say I want to hit a ball going 40 degrees to the left of center, do you think you can calculate that? I can't. And certainly not with one object moving 40 mph in one direction and my racket going 40 mph in the other direction. Where is that precise POINT where the two meet, ball and racket? If I had to explain it, I would never be able to get you to do it. And furthermore...what if the ball is coming at you 125 mph? Then what? This is what life often feels like. We're expected to approach everything rationally, and then read a thousand self-help books to figure out what is wrong with US, when things go wrong. So explaining won't get you far.
So how do you get someone to do this?
Lots of coaches toss balls at you, and each time you take a swing they correct you. They say, aim higher, or follow through more, or turn your body earlier, or sometimes just "watch the ball." (Kind of like saying "be aware.") All of things help for sure. But they don't get the best results. Why? Because the mind cannot process a negative. If I say "don't think about pink elephants..." well, there...you just visualized one didn't you? So we're not going to spend time figuring out what's wrong with you... we're going to focus on what's right with you. I promise you if you were taking a tennis lesson from me and I said, "you're moving your feet really well right now," -- even if you weren't moving your feet before, your footwork would immediately improve. Why? Because it is pointed out to you, and you notice. And when you notice something about yourself there is immediately a good feeling. EVEN when it is something that we don't like about ourselves. Think about it, when you confess something that you've held inside, whether it's a huge deal (like coming out of the closet or admitting you're an alcoholic) or a small one (I cheated on my diet and had a cookie yesterday) there is a good feeling that goes with it. It's empowering to know yourself. It's like knowing a secret and sharing it with someone you can trust.
So here is step 1 in the micrognosis process.
I want you to find a private place for this. You can write it in your day planner, put a note in your iphone, write it on the back page of a checkbook register in tiny print. I do NOT want you to put it on a post-it note and put it in the bathroom where some random dinner guest could discover that you're going to floss more and lose 30lbs! No I want this to be YOUR SECRET PLACE. A SAFE HIDDEN PLACE WHERE NO ONE WILL FIND IT, AND IF THEY DO IT IS SO OUT OF CONTEXT THAT THEY WON'T UNDERSTAND IT. If you're really nervous, put it in code. Create your own code, whatever it is. THIS IS ABOUT YOU. I do NOT want you to share it. This is NOT about sharing. Sharing is NOT something you do. It is a natural bi-product of being completely fulfilled. Do NOT make your kids share their toys until they have had a chance to take ownership of them, they will share naturally and when they are ready... all children are innately and appropriately generous. So right now I want you to be that child who is not ready to share...not yet.
I want you to write down one secret. I don't care what it is. It might be something as simple as saying I'm not trying to lose 30lbs for my health and fitness...I just want to look skinnier... it's not for some lofty goal, it's because I've got some vanity on the line here. Maybe you want to be an artist. You dream of quitting your boring job and you want to try being an artist. Maybe you've never had an art class. But you dream that an artists lifestyle is the way for you. Maybe you hate your home life. Maybe you think you're ugly. Maybe you are tired and you just want to be rich and taken care of. Whatever it is, it's ok. I don't know what it is for you, but I do know, you've got a secret. I want you to write the words "My secret is..." And I want you to put that secret into a private place. That's all. You might right "my secret is I'm scared." or "my secret is I'm tired and really do want to have a lot of money." or "my secret is I'm afraid I won't reach my potential and my life will feel like a waste." or "my secret is I've always wanted to be an actor." or "my secret is I want to eat whatever I want." That's the assignment. I want you to be alone with that. Just put it in that place. You don't have to look at, you don't need to review it. You know its there. Just pick one, and lock it up. We'll come back to it later. But for now, that's the assignment. Small Knowledge. Micrognosis. As soon as you do it...you've completed step one. In the next post, we'll move on to step 2. Small steps!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
